So there I was…..

……stopped in the middle of the road on the campus of one of the best health centers in the state: The Mayo Clinic. Foot on the break. Driver’s side door open. Leaning out the side of the vehicle VOMITING. Cars were all around me, including a security vehicle that wanted me to move.  Keep in mind, I’m doing all of this while also clinching and hoping I won’t have an issue out “the other end”. With my wife inside discussing cancer. I’m outside thinking, “this HAS to be the most demeaning moment of my life”.

Well….there I was…….2 hours later. On all 4’s on the side of the road. Vomiting. Cars speeding by. I’m even the guy who made his wife drive home from her cancer appointment. At that moment I was thinking “this…..THIS! has to be the most demeaning moment of my life”.

Abs and I traveled all over the state the last few weeks. We met doctors in Gainesville, Jacksonville, Ocala, and Tampa. After a week of discussions, I can definitively make one statement: I was the dumbest person in all of those patient rooms. While the doctors and Abby had healthy debates.  And while Abby’s sisters asked great questions that sparked even more debate. I was “that guy” in the corner of the room asking such thought provoking questions as “what’s radiation?”

It’s funny, when your daytrips for the next year are going to be relegated to hospitals, all of a sudden you pick strange times to be a tourist. Like this one….. "quick, get together, let’s remember the entrance to the hospital!” They hate me. 

Or this one – see this guy…..over Kristi’s shoulder. He’s in the waiting room. Snoring. LOUDLY. “Where’s my camera? I gotta remember this!”

I would be lying if I said that our travels did not bring some sadness. Each appointment brought new perspective, new realizations, and it was hard. BUT, it wasn’t all sadness for Abs and me. One thing Abs and I have been researching is fertility options. Who knows what the future holds, and we wanted to have an “insurance policy” in place down the road for having another kid. So, we saw a specialist and put a plan together. As we discussed it on the way home, the realization started to come: The fertility clinic would need a “collection” from Abs…..AND they would need one from ME.

Ross: “Soooo, you’re telling me I have to walk into the clinic, and with an absolute straight face say “Hello, I’m here for my 9:00 donation”

Abby: “Yep!”

We cried……with laughter. For a good five minutes. That exchange may not be hilarious to you, but man it was a great five minutes of levity for us.

So what did we learn? We met with some incredibly smart people at UF, Mayo, and in Ocala. All of whom really cared for Abs, hugged Abs, and offered their opinions. BUT, none of these three offered definitive plans. Each still needed more tests to help them make a decision.

Enter Dr. Catharine Lee and the Moffitt Cancer Center!

Five foot three, Asian descent, a little bit of a potty mouth, total Bad@$$. She was strong. She answered our questions. She was definitive.

“I’ve worked with far too many young patients than I care to say”….. “I am going to treat you aggressively because anything else would be a disservice”……… “I know exactly the chemo drugs and timeline for you”…..Hook….Line….Sinker!

We met some great people whom would’ve given incredible care. At the end of the day, I have to say the decision on Moffitt and Dr. Lee came down to one difference…..

Warning! Warning! Warning! An adult rant is about to follow!

This diagnosis has brought out incredible strength and focus in my wife. But every now and then, say 0.01% of the time, she lets it out…..genuine sadness. Perhaps the first time I’ve truly seen it in over a decade together. Of course, that sadness makes me sad, and you know what, it also makes me mad! This thing has likely taken an entire year away from how we want to live our life. It’s taken away our goal of growing our family this year. It’s taken away our goal to buy a house this year. Cancer will change Abby’s body forever, and may have an effect on us for the rest of our life.

We’re confident. We’re humbled by the support. We’re strong. We are also pissed! And Dr. Lee seems genuinely pissed off about cancer too. She wants to treat Abby and get us back to our lives. We trust her.

Well Dr. Lee, we trust what He has been telling us and are ready for action. For the next 12 months, I grant you the helm and ask that you steer the Jones family. Lead us. We will follow.

(Written Monday, March 10th)