Miscellaneous

Hey there….Hi there….Ho there!

I stole that greeting from a buddy of mine…..yep, should’ve just let that stay his own material.

Anyway, how are ya? How’s life? I hope your summer has been awesome. What’s more fun than stepping out into a 3,000 degree swamp each day?

I’ve been a little bit “M.I.A” lately, but I’ve certainly had my wheels spinning thinking about this blog. The best part about writing this blog is that in 7 years we’ll be able to sit on the couch with Judd and let him read about this experience. There are so many little things here and there that I make a mental note to remember. Literally, something will happen and I’ll say to myself “I want to remember to write about this” or “man, I hope to remember to mention this on the blog”. There’s so much I know Abs wants to forget….Tonight’s post is about some small things I want us to remember. Just like pretty much all of my posts, below are a set of “Miscellaneous” stories or thoughts that I want to remember when we read this blog in the future. I hope you’ll enjoy my musings……

Friend Saves Idiot Dad: So it’s Tuesday morning, one day after Abby’s 2^nd chemo treatment. Abs had a hard time with the 2^nd treatment, so she was in bed. I handled Judd before going to work. I packed his lunch. I got him dressed (I think he matched). We arrived to school and there was the sign that stopped me in my tracks.

“WATER DAY IS TODAY”

Crap! EVERY kid at school is supposed to wear a bathing suit so they can play in the water. My kid is in cargo shorts and a polo. I was sad for Judd, but in the end I just didn’t have time. I went to work. As I’m arriving to Gainesville, our friend whose kids also go to the same school texts me, “Did you remember water day?” Of course, I played the idiotic Dad role to perfection…. “No, but it’s ok, he’s a big boy”.

It was a defensive reply. I actually felt terrible about the whole thing. But guess what…remember my stories about “DESIGN”? Here’s another one….our friend's iphone was acting up, so she never got my reply. Since she never heard from me, she went ahead and took Judd an extra swimsuit. Boom! Judd got to enjoy Water Day with his friends.

(Sigh of Relief)…thanks for the save!

Idiot Man Offers Pregnant Woman a Beer: Abs and I hadn’t seen some friends of ours in several weeks, so it was time to catch up. Oh yes…..Friday, July 11, 2014…….Ribs and Beers, baby! Abs was feeling great that night. I awoke at 4:30 AM to bake the ribs ahead of our feast. And sure enough, just like I always do, our guests arrived right on schedule. We greeted. Shook hands. Exchanged hugs. Judd showed them his tent. Ya know, the usual stuff. Then like any good host, I asked our guests if I could get them a beer. To which she replied……

“No thanks, I can’t have a beer until January 31^st……(insert long pause)…..because I’m pregnant!!!”

Damn…..that was a great night…..and one hell of a pig roast.

There is nothing in the world like parenthood.

Physical Fitness: I’m really making great nutrition choices right now. I’m eating right, and physical fitness is a regular part of my day. In fact, I’m in the best shape of my life.

Ok - that last story wasn't true.

Best Weekend Ever: So I’m driving to work on Monday. Literally just 2 days ago. It hits me…….last weekend was the “Best Weekend Ever!” Picture this chain of awesomeness……

Free lunch on Friday at work à Eaton’s Beach on Lake Weir Friday night (without our kid) à Splash Pad Saturday morning with the kids à Lunch at Ivy House on Saturday à Nap à Enjoy a great afternoon with Abs and Judd à Leave Saturday afternoon for a golf trip with my brother à Eat dinner in the TPC Clubhouse à Eat breakfast on Sunday in the TPC Clubhouse à Break 90 and make par on the famed TPC Sawgrass Island Green à Make it home to enjoy dinner with Abs and Judd on Sunday night.

That my friends is the greatest weekend of all time. Many thanks to the greatest wife of all time for allowing me to go. Many thanks to “Uncle DeeGee” for the complimentary golf weekend.

Happy 3-0 Bobbo! Next thirty are the best thirty!

The More the Merrier: Abs has all of her treatments on a Monday. She has to go for a follow-up on Tuesday and get a shot. So, I get home from work on one of the Tuesday nights….

Me: Did you get your shot?

Abs: Yep

Me: Who was able to take you?

Abs: Amanda……she came and picked me up. She had ALL of the kids in the car. They just waited in the car while I went in.

Not exactly sure why….but for some reason when I picture that in my head….I find it hilarious. 

Many thanks for the ride along!

Big Boy Bed: Abs had the brilliant idea of moving Juddy to a “Big Boy Bed” over the last few weeks. So long to the baby days and the baby crib! Ok, so every night from 8:00-8:45 is pretty much a screaming match to get him to lay down. Regardless…….Worth it!

A Picture Can Tell an Entire Story:

Looking for an update on Abs? See the last picture. She is good. Her family is good. Life is good.

Talk to you soon.

-Rossco

Halfway Done!

Ok, so I’ll go ahead and apologize for being MIA on here. Truth be told, I don’t enjoy writing but I do like to keep you guys informed.  So, if anyone has any questions that I don’t address, please feel free to ask!

I’m half way through chemo, and it feels pretty darn good! They always say “3^rd time’s a charm” and in my case, that was true! The last chemo was sooo much easier than the previous. I was never really sick. My doctor finally gave me Emend in my IV during chemo…. IT IS AMAZING! Emend is an anti-nausea medicine that works up to 72 hours after administered chemotherapy drugs. I also took Dexamethasone, which is another anti-nausea medicine, for 3 days after chemo and it worked wonders too! I have had a good appetite the whole time. Like my sister said, AMEN for EMEND!

Secondly, I STILL HAVE MY HAIR! I know that may sound vain, but who cares! I’m so thankful that (so far) the cold caps have been working! Of course, my hair does shed like crazy. I feel hair that has fallen on my arms all day and a good bit comes out when I wash it twice a week. Yes, I can only wash my hair twice a week. I have to be very careful. Here's the proof!

 

"Gross" -Ross

My hair is important to me. It’s strange because I never appreciated my hair until I was told that I was going to lose it.  I think if I had to look in the mirror everyday and see that I was bald, I would feel sick. It’s mental. I can go out in public and not have people feel sorry for me and I can just blend in with the crowd. For me, that helps.  I currently still have my eyebrows and eyelashes but I can live without those.  I’m sure those will shed soon. Thankfully, I never had nice eyelashes so that won’t be a big loss.  I still have some…. lets just phrase it as, "all the other hair that you have to shave". However; it grows very, very slowly and I can go a long time before I have to shave them. That’s ONE (and the only) benefit of having cancer.

I have had several follow up appointments at Moffitt since I last wrote. I saw the amazingly talented urologist, Dr. Wade Sexton, who performed my nephrectomy (removed my kidney) a few weeks back. He said I healed nicely and that I have no restrictions with daily activities. He does not need to see me anymore unless I want him to read any future scans of my kidney, so he can assess that my right kidney is performing well. Typically he would order periodic scans but since I have a unique (crappy) situation  (I have so many different cancers), my oncologist will order scans from here on out. I also saw my breast surgeon and oncologist at Moffitt last week. They each just wanted to check in when I was midway through chemo. My main questions for Dr. Lee, the breast surgeon, was if she thought I was still going to need radiation and when can I do reconstruction? If you remember a while back, my lymph nodes were negative for cancer. I’ve been told when you get a bi-lateral mastectomy and your lymph nodes are negative for cancer, than you typically don’t need radiation. Well, Dr. Lee said, in my case, even though my lymph nodes were clear, the amount of possible cancerous or pre-cancerous lesions seen in my mammogram show that they are really close to the surface of my skin (on my right breast). They will need to “scape” the skin really well and do further pathology after my surgery. We won’t know until after the mastectomies if I’ll have to have radiation. Oh and my next surgery will be at the end of September…about a month after I finish chemotherapy.  I PRAY I DO NOT HAVE TO HAVE RADIATION! If I do NOT have to go through radiation, I will most likely be able to do reconstruction about 3 months after surgery. That would make for a fabulous Christmas present! However, if I DO have to have radiation….which is typically 5-6 weeks long, plastic surgeons like to wait 6-9 months after to allow the skin to heal. So again, I DO NOT WANT RADIATION! I want BOOBS! J In all seriousness…well wanting boobs was being serious, but the MOST important thing is getting RID OF MY CANCER once and for all, and if that means going a year without small mountains on my chest and stuffing my bra, that’s what it means.

So, that’s what’s up! I want to give a special shout out to my Junior League of Ocala ladies for sending me special letters the last several weeks, AND for their generous donation. I’m so proud to be a part of such an amazing group of supportive ladies! Love you girls and I can’t wait to get back!

This is them wearing pink for me at the last meeting.

Yes, I promise I’m wrapping this up now but I have one more thing to say…..my family has had a tough last few weeks grieving the loss of a great man, my step dad, Jimmie. He battled heart disease for a very long time and beat the odds, repeatedly, by living FAR past what doctors expected. He was a strong man and truly lived life! I’m thankful he came into our lives years ago. He was a true representation that miracles happen. I AM GOING TO BE PROOF THAT MIRACLES happen too! Just watch! We love and miss you Jimmie!

Much love and thanks to GOD and you all!

Abby

There is always a reason to celebrate! (A special guest post from a great friend)

I was approached late last week to do a guest post on 29 and going to be fine. My first thought was that hopefully a guest post will put at bay Ross's constant inquiry to the blog I once wrote! Unfortunately, my blog couldn't keep up with life and so it stopped. Just like that, albeit much to my dismay. So now I am thankful and honored to be a part of this fabulous new blog - even if just for a brief and shining moment! 

Even though the creation of this blog was not the cheeriest of circumstances, friends and family are so thankful for the blog and the information it provides {also for the humor from Ross, details and facts from Abby, and poor grammar - sorry Juddy}. For me personally, it has been a huge help to provide comfort as I live a few hours away and long to be closer some days just so I could grab a quick mid-week lunch with Abby or take Judd out on a special playdate. And I can’t believe I’m going to admit this, but in this case technology is proven to be a positive force for connecting, sharing prayers/praises, and updates as we continue to lift the Jonses up during this fight! 

Recently I read a Facebook comment on one of Abby's posts near the beginning of the diagnosis. It was touching. It was the truth. In summary it said that Abby was really only an acquaintance in high school to this particular girl but she was going to pray for Abby’s battle because the thing that always stood out was that Abby was kind to her. And that was it, that four letter word, sent tears rolling down my face one night as I read it on my laptop. Because that's what Abby is...she is kind. Kind to all and therefore liked by all.

So if Ross does edit my wordy introduction...I at least want to tell you about a special weekend we had with dear friends. Our friend Alexis decided now, more than ever, it was time to get some long lost friends together! Our excuse to celebrate..."It's been entirely TOO long!" We met for brunch last Saturday morning at Arthur's at the Ocala Hilton. It was a wonderful group of friends - local and out of town - and we certainly missed the ones that couldn't join us that day. 

Many of us have known each other since at least kindergarten and have remained friends since, not always the closest of friends, but we did have one constant force between our relationships through the years...Abby. Our sweet, beautiful friend who originally brought many of us together.

We were all asked to bring our favorite thing under $5 and three of those items in tow. Some were fearful it was for an ice breaker of sorts {moi}, but alas it was just a fun gift exchange! We filled two gift bags with one each of our favorite items. One bag went to Abby {lucky!} and one was drawn and gifted to Sky {not fair!}. The third gift we each brought was numbered and paired with the number we each drew out of a box. We did go around and explain why we brought the items we did. I loved seeing all the unique items everyone brought…nail polish, coffee, flowers...I think they all fall into my favorite things category! 

Most of all we enjoyed being together and normal {if you can even call us normal!} - which means lots of laughter and reminiscing! It was so nice catching up in person after many years.  And we celebrated friendships and Abby. There is always a reason to celebrate! Oh, and we did enjoy recreating some really interesting photographs from our middle school days!

But before I officially sign off {might be my last chance at blogging for a while...again}, there is a stanza from a song of one of my favorite Broadway musicals that I relate to many of my friendships and want to share. 

So much of me

Is made of what I learned from you

You'll be with me

Like a handprint on my heart

So no matter the distance {quick...who can continue the BSB lyric?!...}, I feel those words embody the relationship we all have with Abby - I know it certainly does for me. 

And one thing I was never good at during my blogging tenure was keeping it short. So now, on to the pictures!

abby and alexis

our favorite things!

sweet friends

abs and me

 danielle and abby

(danielle who has lived in louisianna and south carolina since high school)

abby and ana 

(ana moved to lakeland after middle school)

Finding Normal

So I came to a realization the other day. I already know what you may be thinking…..

1. Finally, Ross recognizes that it's time for a big boy haircut and he needs to drop his decade old "5 and a 2"…..Nope.

2. Yes! Ross is finally starting to see that Soccer is interesting……Wrong again.

3. Ok, Ross is finally realizing that we're not fooled by his shirts with tight sleeves. Clearly he doesn't workout……Never!

Those are all things I should probably submit to. But that's not the point of this post. A few weeks back I came to a more important realization. 

FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE FEBRUARY…….LIFE IS SOMEWHAT GETTING BACK TO NORMAL.

Now, let me elaborate a little bit. Abs is truly in the heat of the "fight" right now (more on this later). But, in between the fight, we've had a lot of stuff going on that convinced me we're re-finding normal.

FRIENDS: A few weeks back we had a double date with some longtime friends. Honestly, we probably haven't gone out just the four of us on a Friday night in two years. We've always had a bond with these friends because in our group we were the first to take the plunge into marriage and kids. Plus, our wives are truly thick as thieves. It was an awesome night and an epic meal. We didn't talk cancer. We talked about what a pain in the &*$ our kids can be. It felt normal.

We've had a several of these "awesome" times with friends in the last few weeks. A pool day in our friends backyard. A beer and youtube night at a friends house. Visits from "out of towners" and "trash talking" text threads for our upcoming friends Half Marathon weekend in November. 

Just last night we went and enjoyed a THREE HOUR dinner with friends at an epic steakhouse here in town. We talked about Abby's treatment for 10 minutes. We spent the remaining two hours and 50 minutes on food and wine (plus one interesting Public vs. Private school debate). Normal.

(Before I go on to the next topic, I've come to another realization as I'm writing this post. I'm really using the word "epic" too much. Somebody plan an intervention.)

PARENTHOOD: Abby is no longer restricted with Judd. She wasn't supposed to lift him for 6 weeks after her surgery. Those days are long gone and as you can see, she's making up for the lost time. I'm also trying to make the most of the long days by taking Judd to the golf course at night when I get home from work. If the weather is good, I text Abby (NO Oprah, not while driving) and ask her to get Judd ready. I change my clothes real quick and off we go. We're back to trying to make our home life all about him….Normal.

MARRIAGE: Ok, I'll admit it. I treated Abs with "kid gloves" the last few months. Considering all that she was going through, I could give her a break. That all ended this week when I went to throw something in the recycle bin and I FOUND THIS! Oh Hell No! The husband and wife battles have returned. Normal. 

MINDI: We have an extended member of our family whom lives up in NYC. We had not seen her since last November until she came to visit a few weeks ago. It was just like old times for her and Abby as they hung out for a few days. Judd wore us out with repeating "Mini" while she was here. AND, he really missed her in the guest room when she was gone. COME BACK SOON.

Apparently this is fun?

GOLF: I am a self-admitted golf nut. It is truly the only hobby I've ever loved. Guess what…..try asking your wife to play golf on the weekends when she's battling breast cancer. Go ahead. I dare you. I'll apologize in advance for the black eye. Well, thankfully Abs has granted permission for me to play golf a few times over the last month. I've loved every minute, even if I'm currently sporting my B game. Just yesterday I enjoyed a day on the links with some of my golf buddies…. Normal. 

Much to my chagrin - The Winners

Partly because my partner kept missing the ball

BINGE TV: Our habit of binge watching TV is back in full effect. Season 2 of Orange is the New Black - Finished in 3 days. House of Cards - Done. Breaking Bad - currently in Season 1. Our nightly routine is putting Butthead Judd to sleep, quickly watching the news, then crashing on the couch for 2 or 3 episodes of our current show. There's no place I'd rather be. Normal. 

That's really the best snapshot I can give you into what's new. We're truly finding normal again and it's awesome. 

As for an update on Abby…….there's a saying sports writers use this time of year after the NBA Finals: THE DOG DAYS OF SUMMER. This year is a little different because of the World Cup. BUT, usually the summer is a pretty dead time for sports. No football yet. Basketball is done. Baseball is yet to get interesting. Overall, there's just not much to write about that's fresh. 

The same is kind of true right now for Abby's progress. She's in THE DOG DAYS OF SUMMER. I am so amazed at how well she is doing. As an up close observer, she is dominating the Physical. BUT, I can attest that she needs your prayers with the Mental. In fact, we've even stopped using a couple of words….

1. Starts with C, rhymes with Bemo - YES THAT'S A WORD!

2. Starts with T, rhymes with Freatment - YES THAT'S A WORD!

The process Abby is going through right now is hard. Very hard. And, it is bringing a lot of "dread" to Abby as each of these appointments approaches. Keep her in your thoughts the next few months. It takes a lot of encouragement to go to these "BEMO" appointments and put yourself through hell for a week. 

Keep up the fight Abby - THE DOG DAYS will soon be over. 

One last quick story I wanted to share. It really doesn't have much to do with this post, but I wanted to remember this story when this blog is done and we look back years from now. 

We attend a non-denominational church here in town that plays Contemporary Music. Basically, the first half of each service is a Rock Concert. It's not for everybody, but we love it. 

This morning as the first song was being played, I could see a little extra "bounce" in Abs as she sang. The so-called "bounce" continued through the entire song. At the end, she turned to me and said "I love when I know the song they play". 

As do I enjoy watching when you know the song, Babe. 

Keep up the fight. We'll find normal.

-Rossco 

P.S. Special shout-out to our friend, Robby Strausser, whose surprise birthday party we were able to attend a couple weeks ago. One has greatly inspired the other. Both inspire me.